Hi, Daddy!

John's on a trip--so here are two of our favorite people saying "HI!" Of course, they couldn't resist mugging it up.
Bryan (another favorite person!) and Luci watching TV today. Love that little foot.

A Dot in Germany, and One in Indonesia!

I love the Map Loco thingy! I wish I knew who you visitors are. I think it is so fun to have you all "show up" in this way. Some time when you visit, leave a message, OK? I'd love to meet you!

Breakfast with a Bride

Don't you love the hair-do?

Unraveling the Past

Miao baby with her silver crown. Photo from Tribaltextiles.com

Just some thoughts here:

I am looking at Luci's official papers from those white folders we got at the end of the adoption in China and it says she was found at the doorway of the All-Around Shop in Saji Town, of Liupanshui City. And it lists the name of the man who found her! Here it's been 2 1/2 years since we got her and I never even noticed the name of the man who turned her in. It even lists the name of the shop where she was found. Those items were not in the referral we received before adoption. I guess I was in a daze when we got all this info while in China, and I don't pull it out, ever. (Except to carry to the basement safe room when there's a tornado--but I don't read it when down there!) Bouyei baby on her mother's back. Traditional headgear has some silver on it, too. Tribaltextiles.com. This baby looks a lot like Luci did when a baby, but the mother has a face that is not as round as most Miao faces are.

Hearing all the latest on the Bouyei people on the Guizhou yahoo group makes me really wonder about Luci. She looks so much like the Miao women in the photographs at the Minority Museum in Guiyang. I wonder if she is half-Miao and half-Bouyei and that is why she was given up? That would make sense to me, since she looks so much like Miao (with a round, flat face.). Not giving her up, I mean--but that they don't usually like children who are "mixed," and that might be the parents' reason for letting her go. Besides the fact that the Bouyei villages are very poor and a son could provide for their later years.

What a pity. If they'd only known what a pretty, smart, nice little girl she is, they never, ever, ever! would have let her go.

Luci with the silver crown her daddy and I can afford.

Spacing!!

I hate the spacing part of this blogger. The post about Sleep Issues was not double-spaced, but it appears quadruple-spaced! The Raised with Brothers wasdouble-spaced, and it comes out all mashed together. Sheesh.

Raised With Brothers

I could have called this "Raised by Wolves" and it would probably have the same meaning...

The boys have taught Luci how to sit, beg and roll over and play dead. They've also taught her how to go after the bad guys hiding underneath the dining room table.

Today

Bryan: Luci, go shoot Mama.

Luci: No! She's my friend.

Word Verification

I've had to add "Word Verification" to my comment page--it just adds one of those little groups of letters you have to type in to make things a little more secure. I saw someone (or a spammer?) leave a bug (or something that looked suspiciously like one) on someone else's blog. I hope you will still comment. It just takes a second to copy the letters.

Word Verification:
This will require people leaving comments on your blog to complete a word verification step, which will help reduce comment spam.

Sleep Issues; Adoption Stories

In the last week, Luci decided that she does not want to cuddle in my lap anymore to go to sleep. I sorta thought this would be sad news for me, but it isn't. She's 3 years and (almost) 4 months and she's been cudding with me since August 2005. Quite a long time. I am ready to let her sleep on her own. Well, not quite on her own--she wants me beside her. When she falls asleep, I sneak away to my bed. Her mattress is still on the floor next to my side of the bed. So, I guess we need to get the old bed out of the Man Cave and clean it up, paint it, and put in her room. It won't be long before she is sleeping all on her own, in her own room. (I hope. So does John.)

Trying to sleep??

Buffi, mom to Sadie from China (and two other adorable bio kids), asked me just how much of Luci's story have we told her? and how much should we ask the children about their past? and is it better to talk about the past or not? and is it traumatizing to them?

Here are my answers, based on my observation of Luci:

• It all depends on the child. I dont think that's a cop-out.



• Since she was in our arms, we used the A word (we are so glad we got to adopt you!). I finally came up with a fairy tale to tell Luci about her adoption--in a later post-- (recommended to us by International Adoption Clinic) and as she gets older, tell it with more detail. This may be where she gets some of her "locked up" story--maybe it is just fabrication, meaning she was not able to get free until her mommy and daddy got her? The book Shaoey and Dot tells Luci's story. That is a really good introduction for those whose children were abandoned as babies. It's on amazon.com. There are several really good titles on adopting from China.



• Only recently have I asked Luci anything specific. Usually, when we watch a DVD or show about China, I'll ask her something non-specific, such as, "Is that like your China?" and (since we watch only positive things about China) she'll almost always say, "Yes."



• I think it is better to talk about the past. It takes the sting and mystery out of it. It is just a topic after a while, and not so emotionally charged. At first, you can use general terms, and that makes it easy on you and the child. Then you can go into more detail. It is a natural progression. Sort of like those sex-talk minefields--you take it as it comes, and plow through when you need to, taking cues from the child. (If you haven't gotten to that sex-talk point in your kids' lives yet, haha! It is so much fun, she said sarcastically.)



• And if it is traumatizing to them, by all means call a therapist who knows adoption. Kent Brand is in Florence. He used to be the director of Hope for Children, our adoption agency. We love him. Also, International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham has so many resources and takes insurance.

We sent Luci's orphanage a disposable camera before we got her. We asked them to please take photos and return it on Gotcha Day. We had those developed (at Super Walmart in Guiyang, China! A whole 'nother story!). When we got home, Luci got very upset seeing those photos. Then, a year later, no problem looking at them. I need to pull them out again and see how she reacts.

We looked at our Gotcha Day video over the holidays--this was the first time we'd seen it since 2005. Luci was delighted at the baby on the video. No trauma. Every child is so different--here in town we know of several adoptees who have had a terrible time adjusting. Buffi, I would guess just play it by ear.

I Agree!

CoCoRaHS Weather Station

We are now officially part of the CoCoRaHS (pronounced Co-Co-raws) network. CoCoRaHS stands for Community Collaborative Rain, Hail and Snow Network. Here's our rain guage. It comes from the CoCoRaHS office, on the website linked above. It has a central tube that measures only one inch of rain--you can see it measures in hundredths of an inch. If it happens to rain more than one inch in a 24-hour period (you record and empty the guage every day), the rain overflows into the big tube surrounding the 1-inch measuring tube. Very complete instructions for measuring the extra rain come with the rain guage. Also, if your area gets snow and hail, there are instructions for those weather conditions, too. Check out the map below to see if your state participates.

It's fun being a weather geek!

Luci's First Dream

Luci had a dream that she remembered Saturday night. It was her first to remember. Unfortunately, it was a bad dream. She woke up crying, saying that "She won't let me hold the baby!" That went on for a few minutes. It was not a sleep-terror, she knew where she was and was responsive. She was very upset for that little while. She could not tell me who "she" was.


Those of you with adopted children, especially those from China or other foreign adoptees: Have your children told you stories that you wondered about? I know Mom2-4Treasures has a child who remembers things that are not good. Luci was 9 1/2 months on Gotcha Day. Pretty young. She began telling me this story about a month ago: "In China they lock me in a room and I can't get out until my Mommy and Daddy come get me. They use a key and I can't get out."


Here at home, the boys sometimes lock their bedroom doors to keep Luci out of their stuff. But never, ever has she been locked in anywhere by us. I'm not sure what to make of her story. I think maybe she is making up her own Gotcha Day story.

Here are a couple of pictures of Luci sleeping in odd ways....


naptime

When Your Daddy Is an Army Guy....

...carrying around a smoke grenade is par for the course. Luci's holding up a smoke grenade leftover from New Year's. Just because she carried it outside, doesn't mean she isn't scared of it.
JT, however, is braver.

Mom! Do You Remember This Outfit?

When we were paperchasing for Luci, Martha Stewart's Living Magazine had an ad from K-Mart with a cute, cute little Asian girl modeling this outfit. Mom and I got the outfit together for Luci, thinking we were bringing home a three-year-old! We actually bought this outfit before Luci was born.

Two parts came from the Boise K-Mart and one part from our K-Mart here. Little did we know it would take two years for this outfit to fit! (and I still need to take up the skirt, Mom!)

I love it, Nana!

Sweet Baby

I found these photos when I was going through some discs looking for pictures for

Bryan's Lots of Love dinner. These are all from the old house.

Look how bald my baby used to be!

(Luci says, "I look like Papa!".) This is a fake cry, believe it or not.
Buckets are good things.

My Funny Valentines

It's a little late, but this was taken on Thursday.

Bryan

Bryan's Lots of Love banquet was quite nice. Our "worship center" is really a big gym that we move chairs into and out of as needed. We use it for all sorts of things, not just as a gym or worship center. It's called the ROC (Recreation Outreach Center). Anyway, it was decorated in a most pretty way for the banquet. Hooray to whomever thought of doing it! The dinner was very good, too--thanks to Laura Hester and her crew.

Here are John, Luci and Bryan...we sent Luci off to her class before the dinner began.
Bryan left Thursday afternoon for Winterfest in Gatlinburg. It's the furthest and longest he's been away from home without at least one parent. I'm sure he's having a ball! (But Mama is kinda concerned.) We hope he comes home with more of a sense of what his Mission is here on earth. Here he is on the bus with Josh.

Getting a last hug from Luci.
Luci praying for the travelers.
103 people were signed up for this trip! That includes at least 23 adults. Here is part of the crowd before they took off on the TWO big buses. You can see what the gym/worship center looks like normally.

Mike Huckabee's Alter Ego

I don't know what you think of Mike Huckabee, or what you think of Campbell's Soup, but what I think is the guy on the commercial and Mike Huckabee look a lot alike! Apparently I am not the only one...here is a video from youtube, it is only 17 seconds long.

The guy in the commercial is Matt Servitto. He has a long list of credits here (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0785854/) but I don't know him by any other thing than this sea salt commercial.

Clean Your Computer Screen

Click here for a great way to clean your computer screen--all types! It works great!

My, How They've Grown!

Bryan has a banquet at church tonight, and I am supposed to bring photos of him with family. Here are some I found:

Every year I try to get a photo of the kids in front of the hutch.

The first Army dinner after September 11. This was Christmas, 2001 in Birmingham.

Hilton Head, January 2006.

Hilton Head, January 2006

Bryan climbing in the doorway. 2001?

JT and Bryan in Yellowstone Park, June 2002

This One Hit Close to Home!

This is to make up for the crying on the last post.

For Ayla

Ayla is a little girl from China, home now with her family. She has Retinoblastoma in her right eye socket. She has gone through a lot but right now is doing better. You can see her on her mom's blog, http://2china4ayla.blogspot.com/

Melanie, a teenager who is wise beyond her years, made this slideshow for Ayla (really for her mom!) and it is so sweet. The music will make you cry, though, so be ready with a tissue. Melanie's blog is http://picturesartmemories.blogspot.com/ She is in the Canary Islands. A really special young lady.

Look quick, Grandparents--You'll see a little girl you know!

Please pray for Ayla and her family.

New Schedule, or M.O.T.H. Revisited: Homeschooling

I scrapped our old schedule, and now we have a new one. This one is a bare-bones schedule.

Concerns:

• JT has karate at the YMCA Monday and Wednesday, that we are not willing to budge on. The other class he could join is in the afternoon, and with the driving time added, we'd miss two nights of supper together. He has a talent for this, and it counts as PE. Also, Bryan can get some exercise at the same time (me, too, if I want--usually I catch up on lesson plans or do my Bible reading and enjoy the peace and quiet while Luci is in Baby Jail).
• The boys have always had a flexible schedule and, until this year, have done quite well with it. This is the first year we've had major problems.
• Luci is into everything, and I mean everything. I am always dashing about keeping her from doing permanent harm to household things--yes, I do put things out of reach, but she is a climber.
• I like the flexibility to go to the commissary at Redstone (a whole day of travel and shopping) without putting the whole system in danger of collapse, and adding in ice skating or letting the boys build things with John when he has a day off (current projects include a playhouse for Luci and, what do you know, a craft/sewing room for me!)

So, here's the new schedule. Those of you who have children going to "regular schools" will think this is so lazy! Homeschoolers will understand.

Monday and Wednesday:

7:45 am Up.

8:30 am Leave for YMCA

9-10 am Tang Soo Do class

10 am- Until...Errands or go home

Home--set timer for 60 minutes to do chores

When timer goes off, it is time for lessons and work "until finished," which can be quite early or late, depending on how studious the boys are. They, for the most part, are independent workers now--it took a long, long time to get them to this point, and I am enjoying their independence!

Noon--lunch (fits in to chore time or lesson time)

When all school work is done, then they can work on projects (not associated with school) or play or computer time, whatever.

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday:

9 am Up and dressed. (Yes, I have to specify "dressed." Homeschoolers are notorious for wanting to stay in their pajamas.)

9-10 am Chores.

10- Until: Schoolwork.

Noon: Lunch

When all schoolwork is done, they can work on their projects and play, etc.

The boys earn checkmarks for

1. getting up on time by themselves
2. finishing chores in allotted time
3. finishing schoolwork before playing
4. getting along (no arguing with me or each other)

On Friday afternoon, they will get a $10 allowance...connected to their checklist. I choose two items each week to tie the allowance to, but I don't tell them which two I am looking for--for example, this week I am counting getting up and finishing chores. If they earn all ten checks for those two items, they get to keep all $10. Next week I might pick two other items to tie to their allowance.

Hyper Ingredients

If you have an overly active child, this might be of interest to you. CBS in Chicago ran a story on one of my Feingold friends, showing how taking artificial additives out of his diet helped her son. You can read the story here--Food Additives Can Make Kids Hyper--there is also a video, to the right of the story. It shows Sheri and her children, people I met on the Feingold Bulletin Board.

The Feingold Diet helped us so much (it also helped me get rid of my migraines!); if it can help you and your children, that would be great news for me.

Some Neat Things

I found all of these on other people's blogs--and I can't remember everyone I "borrowed" from, so I'm sorry I can't give you credit. Come over to my house and get into my favorites list and cruise through my Blog file--somewhere in that list of 41 blogs that I regularly visit, you'll find my benefactors.

(Luci's province is Guizhou--purple on this map)

Sewing and an Idea for John

John got me this really nice sewing machine (ok, so I picked it out and got it myself--on sale--and John thought it was a good idea once he saw it) last year. I've used it maybe 4 or 5 times. Tonight was one of those times, as I sewed JT's red trim on his uniform. It took me forever and a pair of glasses and a flashlight to get that thread through the needle. Yes, it has a "needle threader" but you have to get the thread in the right position to begin with. Then I discovered that Miss Luci had gotten to the sewing machine before me and bent the needle! So out the thread comes, find the two new needles (one of which immediately falls into the air vent) and re-do the glasses-flashlight-threader thing.

John--here's an idea: You know how you want to finish off rooms in the basement? How about a sewing/scrapbooking room for me? It would need three of those white portable tables like we have at the church building, up against the walls--one for the sewing machine, one for the scrapbooking and one for laying out and cutting material. Paint the floor red and the walls a pale pink. A lock to keep the kids out of my materials and tools. I could keep things out, not have to figure out how to thread the dang machine every time, and be able to actually sew things for Luci. I'll even pretend like you came up with the idea first!

JT's Big Day!

JT has had such a good day! Today at his Tang Soo Do test, he advanced to Red Belt. After that is Blue, then Black. Black's not too far off! JT won the award for the Best Test today and got this neat trophy! He was so excited. I was, too. Here is JT with Mr. Jones, his karate teacher. Mr. Jones tells me quite often how much he likes JT and that JT has great ability in karate. Dad, that's the teacher you met with Katie, Laura and Suzi Q (oh yeah, and Charlie) last summer. JT got to be the boy in the front holding the trophy this time. He's wanted that trophy since he went to his first test 2 years ago and saw someone else win.
JT and Tyler. Tyler is a homeschool friend. The boys are in the same class at the YMCA. And they both have red hair. They get everyone confused about names...if they were identical twins, I don't think there'd be any more confusion as to who's who. Now that they both have red belts, they might have to resort to name tags. (I have to change out JT's brown on his uniform. His uniform will look like Tyler's when I do that. He has his old brown belt around his neck.)
The boy in the front! Congratulations, JT!!

JT's Tang Soo Do Test

JT had an awesome day! Here's a video of him breaking his board. I have to put the pictures of HIS TROPHY in another post because I don't know how to embed this. Sorry!