Dreams

Luci woke up crying early Monday morning. 

What's the matter?  Come sit with me in the recliner.

I dreamed you got rid of me.

I would give anything to stop her bad dreams.

Dreams are not always a good thing.

On Monday night/Tuesday morning, Luci woke me up twice. She needed to cuddle, to know that she was safe. She often wakes up, once a night--the nights she sleeps all the way through are very rare.

But Tuesday morning's early wake-up just seemed so sad to me.
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"Mama, I don't want to dream any more."

She was able to go back to sleep, but I was wide awake after that comment.

Last night, Luci was up once for reassurance. Then when she woke up for the day (at a respectable 7:30, I might add), she told me her dream:

I was lost from you. I couldn't find you. Then someone helped me look for you and my friends but we couldn't find you!

I want her to sleep in her own room, but it's not going well. She is still on an infant mattress in our room. Good thing she's still so little: she still fits on the mattress. Tonight we are going to try her room again. She has a double bed in there (takes up the whole room! her room is so tiny) so I can get her to sleep and later when I'm ready for bed I can go sleep with her.

Wow, when we were building this house (and it's not palatial, by any means) we thought it was such a good idea to have the kids' rooms on the other side of the house. Not a good idea for her! She wakes up in a panic wondering where we are, and on the way to our room, in her drowsy state, gets lost (remember, I said this is not a big house!). Screaming! like you wouldn't believe!

Here is a post by someone else whose daughter is hyper vigilant. Hypervigilance and the Adopted Child: defining, through life examples, hypervigilance, which is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats.
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Luci's predicament is quite a lot like this child's. She has calmed down some since John's deployment ended, but as I see nearly every night, there is a long way to go. I cannot leave her with just anyone. For babysitting, she will stay with Bryan and JT and very few others. Amanda was able to keep her for me for a few hours, and so was Diane. Both of those women have daughters with whom Luci loves to play; I think that's why she is able to feel calm with them. Even at Sunday School, Luci makes sure that I am the one dropping her off, and she makes sure that I am going to be the one picking her up.

Dreams

Luci woke up this morning and told me about her dream:
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I was a baby in China and someone gave me away and I had to leave my China. I was so sad!
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Lots of hugs followed.

Luci-Speak and Dreams

In-Port-Nent: important

Bidnight: the time Cinderella has to leave the Ball

Orthodontist: Okay, so she gets this one right every time! I don't know how....

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Over the last week Luci has had several bad dreams. Stuck in a cage with a dragon. Mommy leaving her. Someone taking her away from Mommy. It has just been awful! Makes night-terrors seem like a piece of cake, because these are true fears. (Well, maybe not the dragon--but she is scared of most dogs; maybe that's where that dream originates.)

Then, once she is awake and in my arms, the sobbing goes from scared Mommy has left to "I miss Daddy...." and it goes on.

Thank goodness we will get to see John the third weekend in May! We all miss John, but Luci misses him the most. We still haven't heard what the next 6 months holds (going back? staying here and done with the trips?) so Luci has only been told that Daddy's coming for a vacation and then going back to work. We just don't know if he'll be at work here or in Af ghan istan. So either way, it's the truth.

Luci's First Dream

Luci had a dream that she remembered Saturday night. It was her first to remember. Unfortunately, it was a bad dream. She woke up crying, saying that "She won't let me hold the baby!" That went on for a few minutes. It was not a sleep-terror, she knew where she was and was responsive. She was very upset for that little while. She could not tell me who "she" was.


Those of you with adopted children, especially those from China or other foreign adoptees: Have your children told you stories that you wondered about? I know Mom2-4Treasures has a child who remembers things that are not good. Luci was 9 1/2 months on Gotcha Day. Pretty young. She began telling me this story about a month ago: "In China they lock me in a room and I can't get out until my Mommy and Daddy come get me. They use a key and I can't get out."


Here at home, the boys sometimes lock their bedroom doors to keep Luci out of their stuff. But never, ever has she been locked in anywhere by us. I'm not sure what to make of her story. I think maybe she is making up her own Gotcha Day story.

Here are a couple of pictures of Luci sleeping in odd ways....


naptime