All because of one little girl...

Today I spent time clearing out   cleaning Luci's room.

This is what it looked like AFTER we got done.  Really, it was much worse when we started.

We worked a long time.  Now Luci has a place to sleep in her room! She slept in her room TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW all by herself. ALL BY HERSELF.

Which is two nights longer than she's EVER done before.

She's been in our room, on a mattress.  Or on the living room floor with me.  Or somewhere else with me, not by herself ever.

She got brave this week. I am so proud of her.

So, now she has a comfy spot up on the big platform bed that John built for her years ago.  There's a memory foam mattress thingy under her blanket there, because the twin-sized mattress that was up there before is still in our bedroom on the floor for when she still needs to sleep in the room with us.  Which will probably be tonight, because I jinxed this by mentioning sleeping alone here. :)

Which brings me to this post.

I was getting all hot and bothered (i.e., cranky) working in her room. And then it dawned on me.



If it were not for this little girl, I would be...

• bored.  JT graduates this year, and after 4 years of pushing and fighting with him over high school stuff, it would be all over.
• unsettled.  What would I do after JT graduates?
• forced to work on housework.  I do not want to do that.  No, never.

Because of this little girl...

• John and I learned that we could love a little girl who came to us in an unnatural way. We are head over heels in love with Luci. She's stretched us in ways we didn't know were possible, and it's all good.  
• I am relearning what life is really, truly all about.  It is not about reading and writing and arithmetic, although those are so important. It is all about learning to be a good person, to follow Jesus and lead others to heaven.  Learning to take care of a family.  Learning to be a good mommy (notice the baby doll in the picture!  All fed, diapered and has a binky.  Luci takes good care of her babies) and a good friend (can you see the iPad Mini in the picture? She's face timing with her bestie who lives too far away to have in-person play dates often).
• I am learning how to teach all over again.  Luci is my puzzle.  Bryan dealt with dyslexia and ADHD, JT with ADD and allergies to scented things, and we learned how to work around those.  Luci has quite a few letters that go beyond what the boys dealt with. I'm still learning what works best for her.
• I learned about classical education that I had thought was just "froo-froo" and elitist, that it was all just for those who were college-bound by age 12. Luci and I fell in love with classical education that a Classical Conversations group brought to us.  
• I've learned that standing up for someone who has been wrongly accused is always a good thing.
• I learned that, even though I'm not writing books as my parents hoped, I am writing!  I have learned to write a curriculum that my peers here are pleased with, and I am so tickled.

Makes all the mess worth it.

Officially Gluten Free

We are going Gluten Free at our house--all except John's favorite cereal (Raisin Bran Crunch) is gone.  I don't dare touch his cereal.

Luci and I both have reactions to gluten.  She gets eczema, and I, well, I won't bore you with icky details.  JT has presented some symptoms that I finally connected to gluten and so we are now gluten free.

I've been busy this past week--baking up a storm! 

These are rolls made from Pamela's Amazing Wheat Free and Gluten Free Bread Mix.   JT proclaimed them just as good as the rolls at Logan's Roadhouse.  Made me happy to hear that. 

 I also used the Pamela's mix to make some cornbread for making into dressing.  Since we're Southerners, and my Mom grew up down here, cornbread dressing is the way to go! 

JT realized that gluten free living meant that the Girl Scout cookies that Luci sells will be off-limits to him.  Oh, that was a sad day when he figured that out!  So, being the good mama I am (or am aiming to be, anyways), I found a gluten free version of Thin Mints, which are JT's favorites. 

I wish you had a scratch and sniff computer, because, wow, these are good!  Taste like the real thing.  Not only gluten free, but these Thin Mint lookalikes are also all natural!

I can't wait for JT to get home and try these cookies.  He's on a church trip with John and will be back tomorrow evening.  I'll let you know how the taste-test goes.

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Oh, and that sleeping in the big bed thing with Luci??  I did jinx myself.  The very next night she woke up at 4:30 and slept the rest of the night under her bed.  Because her room is too tiny for us to sleep next to each other next to the bed, she had to be under the bed.  Good thing it's got a good clearance for her sweet head when she sits up!

John's been busy!

This week John put together a platform for Luci to sleep on.  Before I show you this fantastic bed/sleeping platform, let me show you the other beds that Luci has had in her room since moving here:  

November 2006 ~~Bryan putting Luci's crib together

 March 2008  ~~  Just the crib mattress on the floor

 July 2008 ~~ a real bed, big enough for Mommy to sleep with Luci (yeah, right, as soon as she nods off, she's perpendicular!).  Also big enough for company, should any be brave enough to stay here overnight....

 December 2010 ~~ Maybe, just maybe, she'll sleep in this bed

and Today ~~ the extravaganza, the whoop-de-doo, the bed to end all beds!

Whatcha wanna bet that she won't sleep here, either?

This is a fantastic play space!

I figure this is just another pretty bed, set up for looking at.  Because I betcha she won't sleep in it any time soon.

Usually Luci and I end up on the floor in the living room.  When she starts out in her room, she ends up on the floor with me there--crammed between her bed and the kitchen playset (it's a tiny, tiny room).  So, we end up moving to the living room floor. 

It's getting kind of old for this old mommy.  I don't get stiff, which is a surprise to both John and me.  It's just that I'd rather Luci be able to sleep by herself.  She wants a little sister, then "I can sleep with her, mommy!"  Yeah, right.  I don't think that's happening.  So, I sleep with her.  Luci's counselor says this will pass, Luci will eventually not need me next to her.  Be tough, you say?  I baby her, you say?  You are not living with a sweet little girl who thinks she's being abandoned.  Again.  :( 

New Bed!

We traded Luci's double bed for this twin-sized bed that was in our basement.  It is part of a set of bunk beds.  JT has the other bed in his room.  Luci never did stay in her room by herself.  She only would stay in the double bed with me on the floor--believe me, the floor was much more comfortable than that bed, especially when shared with a girl who sleeps like a monkey/starfish!

That double bed also took up precious floor space.  The kids have their own rooms (a necessity of survival for the boys once they hit ages 10 and 14) and of course, Luci had to be in a room without a boy in it...so, each has their own room.  Luci's room is the smallest of the three, and there was barely enough space to turn around in there with the bigger bed.  Now she can turn around.  Ha ha.  And there is more room for Mommy to camp out on the floor.   Ha ha ha.

Luci's thrilled with her new bedding...I do hope that she will want to sleep in the bed and actually use the pink stuff!  Of course I wanted to take a picture, so she climbed in and pretended to sleep, even though I requested she open her eyes and smile.  

As I was leaving her in her room this afternoon, I started singing a silly song and Luci laughed, thinking I was so clever.  I told John, "Luci still thinks I'm cool!  As soon as she stops thinking that, we have to get another kid."

John just rolled his eyes.

Visions of Sugarplums....

JT slept on the floor in Luci's room on Christmas Eve.  Usually I am with her, in her room or on the floor in the living room.   (Can you say, "Sleep Issues?") 

Luci is sleeping horizontally on the bed--her head is in the middle somewhere and her feet are hanging out over JT.  It was so funny to see that I had to take a photo.

Yes, Luci has too many stuffed animals, and no, Santa is not bringing any more animal friends this year!

Today

Why is it, when little people get in the bed in the middle of the night, they sleep perpendicular?

~~~~~~~~~~

John: I'm staying home all day, so I'll do the housework today.

Me: Good thing I saved up for you.

~~~~~~~~~~

Luci: Momma! Don't come look! I'm not doing anything!!

Spring Forward! We did, did you?

John thinks I get this big, old bed all to myself. He is somewhat jealous, since he has a skinny, lumpy cot. Here is what I usually find when I wake up in the morning: company! On Sunday mornings when the kids won't get up, I sing this Irving Berlin song--

Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning,
Oh! How I'd love to remain in bed!
Someday I'm gonna murder the pup--
the guy who gets the bugler up--
And then,
Spend the rest of my days in bed!

Interesting bit about the song from here:

Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning" is a song written by Irving Berlin in 1918 that gives a comic perspective on military life. Berlin composed it while serving as a sergeant in the United States Army during World War I and used it in a show called Yip Yip Yaphank that he wrote and produced with an all-soldier cast to raise funds for a new building at Camp Upton in Yaphank, New York "There were a lot of things about army life I didn't like", said Berlin, "and the thing I didn't like most of all was reveille."

My method is to keep singing, getting more out of tune and silly as the verse repeats, until everyone is up.

Proven Wrong...

I've been asked several times in the past two weeks if Luci still takes a nap. I've answered, "NO and I wish she still did!"
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Sunday night I took the kids to the teen Super Bowl party at church. It was very noisy, but here's what Luci did during the first half:Can you see her ear muffs? She wears them when things get too noisy. She calls them "ear muggs."
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And here she is this afternoon as I was working with the boys on their schoolwork. yes, I know the photos are fuzzy. Pooh!

I can *SO* relate to this!

Luci has had me sleep-deprived for 3 1/2 years!

Cops: Woman Shoots Boyfriend for Not Letting Her Sleep

She's going to Gaf-Ghanistan.

Luci packed up her backpack with all things important (plastic food from her kitchen set, binky, blankie and a coloring book), handed me her baby ("Please take care of her, I can't take babies, Mommy") and headed off to Afghanistan.

I don't think she'll get very far--all she is wearing is her Ariel panties and white patent leather shoes (which is why I am not posting a picture!).

Right after dropping Luci off at the "airport" (the living room sofa) I made an appointment at the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham for a meeting with Leigh Anne, their family therapist. She's been a big help in the past. I think the play-acting is a good thing, but it really is breaking my heart. Luci's had other things pop up about Daddy in the past week that shows she is having a tough time with this. Can't wait for that appointment!

Another issue that the Clinic is going to check out is whether melamine in the baby milk supply in China affected Luci in any way. The recommendation is to check any child adopted after January 1, 2004, so Luci will have that evaluation when our meeting with Leigh Anne is done. Luci was born in October 2004, and adopted in August 2005.

A big, huge, gi-normous thing--Luci is now sleeping through the night!

A New Bed!

This could also be entitled, "Keeping Up With Kalyn." She has a nice big bed, too, and her mommy told me how nice it was. We did get different bedding, though!

Those of you with children who sleep through the night, Congratulations! For the rest of us, especially the parents of adopted children. we have to do what we can to keep the "abandonment screams" away. Luci still wakes in the night and if she can't find me, she gets hysterical. That is not an exaggeration--she gets hysterical! This bed will let me lie down with her while she goes to sleep and get back in bed with her if she needs that in the middle of the night. This also means that John and I have our bedroom back. Yes, I know that the nightstand is really just a plastic bin thing from Walmart. A real nightstand will have to wait.
Lovin' the bed!
Jumping for joy when the delivery guys rang the doorbell!
Watching progress on the building of the bed.

Some Recent Favorites

Luci also talks in her sleep...something she has in common with Mommy and big brother JT. Heard recently:

• mumble mumble...Cinderella...mumble
• (later the same night) mumble mumble...stinky armpits...mumble mumble
  

Not sure if Cinderella had the armpit funk or if it were her prince. She also mentioned something that sounded like, "Mommy, you snorin'," but maybe I heard wrong.
~~~
I'm so glad the blogger program is working. Don't know what the problem was, but it's working now and I'm happy.

My Sleepless Angel

Okay, so she slept through ONE night. The last two nights have been horrible, and only about 2 hours of sleep each night. I should never mention her sleeping all the way through, it jinxes the days that follow!

And this comic fit all too well today!

Our House

Replace the animals with a kid or two, and you have the situation here....

Almost as soon as John leaves the driveway, I put Luci's bedrail on the bed...and last night she slept through the night! We'll deal with "where to sleep" issues after I get some more sleep....

Sleep...What Is That, Again?

Luci still is not sleeping through the night. After several emails back and forth from the two families who also adopted when we did, Luci is doing what their daughters are doing...needing only mama for bed, for the middle of the night, and please, please don't leave me!

Don't suggest the "cry it out" method. Luci gets hysterical if I don't show up. It is not night-terrors (she knows exactly where she is and what is going on, and is responsive). It is also not fake. She goes bonkers. When she sleeps in her room and wakes in the night, she makes it about halfway to our room and then starts screaming. It is heartbreaking and wow, what a way to wake in the middle of the night. So she is back in our room, on her crib mattress on the floor. No hysterics, but she still needs mama in the middle of the night.

Yesterday she played at the YMCA playplace for over an hour, then at McDonald's for over an hour, then no nap and sound asleep by 7 p.m. I could not keep her up any later. Then awake at 10 (NO I DON'T WANT DADDY!) and then again at 1 a.m....she was awake until nearly 4 a.m.! And up for the day at 7 a.m. The day before was not much better...lots of play, no nap and up twice. Today she's taking a nap because I need one.

Missing naps doesn't work. Running her silly, playing outside or in the YMCA playground for hours doesn't foster sleep. Routines at bedtime don't work. A cuddly that smells like mama doesn't work. Melatonin doesn't work. Giving mom a shot of liquor might work, but not for her.

I am exhausted.

I'm still hoping for rain.

The Big Bed!

Well, sort of big bed. It is a real twin mattress instead of the crib mattress. Luci is in love with this bed! The boys rescued it from a bed in the Man Cave and we fixed it up for Miss Luci. She has spent all afternoon jumping on it, laying on it, reading books and doing puzzles on it. About the bedding: It's a mish-mash of princess crib comforter, princess pillowcase and JT's old Bob the Builder sheets. Luci thinks it looks great, and that's all that matters. (Why the bib? It was in the dress-up box, that's why. She needs no reason. I'm just happy she has clothes on!) I got this bookcase and rug long before Luci came home.
The closet. Luci has a whole box of costumes. She can be anything from a bride to a princess to a pirate or even a Blue Angels pilot.
Hopscotch rug from Walmart.
Yes, I know the room is GREEN.

I Wanna Be An Astronaut!

Yesterday, Luci told me she wanted to be an astronaut. I asked JT to look in the costume box in the basement for his old astronaut suit. After some hemming up of sleeves and pants, Luci fits into JT's old suit! I can't find a time or place to sew, but I sure can hem. So nice to get another child's use out of it. I made this to look like the suits at the Space and Rocket Center. At S&RC, the suits are priced from $54.95 (for young children) to $80 (size 8 and up for children). We bought patches, and got one with astronauts that Papa knows, and thought this came out pretty close.We are trying to keep Luci up and not napping during the day. As a consequence, she can get pretty doggone silly! She found this mirror that we haven't hung yet and she was nearly hysterical with laughter. Sorry about my big ol' feet showing up in this photo!


So cute.

Sleep Issues; Adoption Stories

In the last week, Luci decided that she does not want to cuddle in my lap anymore to go to sleep. I sorta thought this would be sad news for me, but it isn't. She's 3 years and (almost) 4 months and she's been cudding with me since August 2005. Quite a long time. I am ready to let her sleep on her own. Well, not quite on her own--she wants me beside her. When she falls asleep, I sneak away to my bed. Her mattress is still on the floor next to my side of the bed. So, I guess we need to get the old bed out of the Man Cave and clean it up, paint it, and put in her room. It won't be long before she is sleeping all on her own, in her own room. (I hope. So does John.)

Trying to sleep??

Buffi, mom to Sadie from China (and two other adorable bio kids), asked me just how much of Luci's story have we told her? and how much should we ask the children about their past? and is it better to talk about the past or not? and is it traumatizing to them?

Here are my answers, based on my observation of Luci:

• It all depends on the child. I dont think that's a cop-out.



• Since she was in our arms, we used the A word (we are so glad we got to adopt you!). I finally came up with a fairy tale to tell Luci about her adoption--in a later post-- (recommended to us by International Adoption Clinic) and as she gets older, tell it with more detail. This may be where she gets some of her "locked up" story--maybe it is just fabrication, meaning she was not able to get free until her mommy and daddy got her? The book Shaoey and Dot tells Luci's story. That is a really good introduction for those whose children were abandoned as babies. It's on amazon.com. There are several really good titles on adopting from China.



• Only recently have I asked Luci anything specific. Usually, when we watch a DVD or show about China, I'll ask her something non-specific, such as, "Is that like your China?" and (since we watch only positive things about China) she'll almost always say, "Yes."



• I think it is better to talk about the past. It takes the sting and mystery out of it. It is just a topic after a while, and not so emotionally charged. At first, you can use general terms, and that makes it easy on you and the child. Then you can go into more detail. It is a natural progression. Sort of like those sex-talk minefields--you take it as it comes, and plow through when you need to, taking cues from the child. (If you haven't gotten to that sex-talk point in your kids' lives yet, haha! It is so much fun, she said sarcastically.)



• And if it is traumatizing to them, by all means call a therapist who knows adoption. Kent Brand is in Florence. He used to be the director of Hope for Children, our adoption agency. We love him. Also, International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham has so many resources and takes insurance.

We sent Luci's orphanage a disposable camera before we got her. We asked them to please take photos and return it on Gotcha Day. We had those developed (at Super Walmart in Guiyang, China! A whole 'nother story!). When we got home, Luci got very upset seeing those photos. Then, a year later, no problem looking at them. I need to pull them out again and see how she reacts.

We looked at our Gotcha Day video over the holidays--this was the first time we'd seen it since 2005. Luci was delighted at the baby on the video. No trauma. Every child is so different--here in town we know of several adoptees who have had a terrible time adjusting. Buffi, I would guess just play it by ear.

Luci's First Dream

Luci had a dream that she remembered Saturday night. It was her first to remember. Unfortunately, it was a bad dream. She woke up crying, saying that "She won't let me hold the baby!" That went on for a few minutes. It was not a sleep-terror, she knew where she was and was responsive. She was very upset for that little while. She could not tell me who "she" was.


Those of you with adopted children, especially those from China or other foreign adoptees: Have your children told you stories that you wondered about? I know Mom2-4Treasures has a child who remembers things that are not good. Luci was 9 1/2 months on Gotcha Day. Pretty young. She began telling me this story about a month ago: "In China they lock me in a room and I can't get out until my Mommy and Daddy come get me. They use a key and I can't get out."


Here at home, the boys sometimes lock their bedroom doors to keep Luci out of their stuff. But never, ever has she been locked in anywhere by us. I'm not sure what to make of her story. I think maybe she is making up her own Gotcha Day story.

Here are a couple of pictures of Luci sleeping in odd ways....


naptime

It's So Hard to Be Civil...

...when you've had very little sleep. It is humiliating to have to apologize to your own kids more than once in a day. Luci has slept through the night just 4 more times since December 17, the last sleep post. The last few nights, she has wakened and needed momma TWICE a night. I am exhausted. Nothing works...making her miss naps...feeding extra snacks before bed...melatonin...extra physical activity during the day.

Nana, recognize that Raggedy Ann? The clothes are in a safe place.