Plan B

In a previous post, I mentioned that John and I are Luci's Plan B.  Plan A was for her to be raised by her first parents.  Whatever the cause, we are Plan B. 

God intends for us to raise our children, to "Train a child in the way he should go,..." (Proverbs 22:6)


Sometimes things don't go well, or something happens, then we are to do this: "look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  (James 1:27)  Note that it does not say to adopt the orphaned or the widowed.  But sometimes that is called for.  Luci is one who was in an orphanage, with no foster care in her area.  So staying where she was was not a good option.  She needed a family.  We needed her, too.  


We did not set out to "save" Luci.  After losing a baby to miscarriage, we (me, mostly) realized how much we really wanted more children in our family.  


This past week I came across this post, God and Adoption, by Tonggu Momma.  So much of it I agree with wholeheartedly, and is true for Luci. 


Some select quotes:


Adoption is often a band-aid placed over a gaping wound.

~~~~~

At the time of adoption, returning to her biological family was not an option... it was either to grow up in care, or to grow up with an adoptive family. She is a wonderful little girl... one who deserves a family, just as ALL children deserve families. Since her biological family was no longer an option, for whatever reason, I am glad that God chose us as His plan B to be her adoptive family.

But her adoption? Was a band-aid placed over a gaping wound in rural China.

~~~~~

And this from Divine Caroline:

A close friend of ours who is both an adoptee and an adoptive parent says that adoption is “a redemptive response to a tragedy.”

~~~~~

While I know that each and every child wants a mother and a father, getting a new set of parents doesn’t replace the void left by the absence of the biological parents.

~~~~~

All of these thoughts have been buzzing about my head for a while now.  Today seemed like a good day to talk about them.  At lunch, I shared this blog story about what some families call "Gotcha Day."  I said to John that I wanted to make our celebration of our Family Day more low-key, doing what Luci wants and celebrating China during that time. 

Luci piped up and said she knew what Gotcha Day was.  

Oh really?  Tell me about it.

Yeah.  You have a ghost on your shoulder!!

me looking surprised...

See?  Gotcha!  April Fools!  

Then Luci put her head in my lap and said she missed her China-mama.  And she really does miss her.  If you haven't broached the subject with your adopted children yet, please do open the conversation.  A great book to help with that is Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child, which I mentioned back in November.

 Next post I promise to be more sequential in my thoughts and make more sense.