Luci has been saying to me, "Don't Leave Me."
This happens mostly at night when I am holding her in my lap, getting her to sleep. I tell her every time that "I am your mama forever, I will always be your mama, I will never leave you--except maybe to go get coffee sometimes. But I will always come back." She nods her head and cuddles in. We are pretty much joined at the hip and we are rarely apart.
Last night when she said. "Don't leave me," I asked her if anyone had ever left her. Surely she doesn't remember her China-mama leaving her at 2 days of age. It is possible that there is some physical memory of the director and nannies leaving her with us at age 9 1/2 months. Possible, but I am wondering if that is really likely. (She's 3 years, 3 months old now.) Maybe the sensation of being left. Anyway, her answer to that question was,
"Yes. In China. She left me." Who, baby? "China mama."
At this point, I am trying not to cry.
How much of this is she remembering because she's heard us talking to others? Now I need to quit talking in front of her, and I suppose even quit talking about her story without her permission at any time. It isn't my story to share. It's hers. (so I guess I need to ask her permission to blog it from now on)
I told Luci that I would always be her mama, I will never ever give her away or leave her, and I will always come back from that coffee. She nodded her head about the coffee and hugged me tighter. Later on she relaxed and I said, "I'm your forever mama. I will never leave you."
She crawled up higher in my lap and put her arms around my neck, and said, "Thank you."
I cried then.
7 comments:
Jacob came home at 8 months, he definitely has big memories of being neglected, being hungry and just feeling abandoned. Very very sad...
Susan, I think that somewhere in their little minds that they can remember a little. Maybe it is just from hearing us talk. Brooke says things to me that just about make me fall on the floor.
Oh bless her little heart...
Monica
Man I would have never thought that they remember that much stuff. Especially since she was so young. But like you said, you don't know how much she has just heard you guys talk about it. I think that you handled that situation very well by the way. Making Luci feel special and all.
It's very heartbreaking, our daughter at 3 is also starting this. She came to us at 22mths. I'm not sure why either, all we can do is hug them and reasure.
WOW! You said ALL the right things! You are a GREAT Mommy!
Susie,
Wow! Luci is so very precious and sweet! You are a great Momma! Keep on hugging sweet Luci for me too!
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